Week Four - Questions and Answers

First, we would like to apologize for the delay in getting this out to you. But due to circumstances out of either of our control, it was necessary. From here on out, we will be doing the Naughty Thought of the Week and one Q&A session a week until things get sorted out, so please continue to send in your questions. If there is anything pressing, you can reach either one of us on Twitter or via gchat (if gchat is not being a fucking asshole, that is) and we will try and help you the best we can. Some of you know what's been going on with us, and we appreciate your continued support and thoughts. We would like to thank you in advance for your patience and understanding in this matter. We love you all.

Khar and Nan

Now, on with the questions!!!





Blowjobs?

Hey girls.


Blow Jobs. Got any tips for a girl who has never given one because she is too scared that she is going to be awful at it?


Steph


Khar Says: Blow jobs are more like art than science… everyone has different likes and dislikes. But there are some basics that we can cover.

First of all, only take in as much as you can. Despite what some men seem to believe, deep throating is indeed a talent and not something all women can just do naturally. So you take in as much as you can until your gag reflex kicks in, and you wrap your hand around the part of the shaft that’s not in your mouth.

I’m sure you know the mechanics of how a man gets off so we’ll skip over the technical aspects, but you really just bob your head up and down in harmony with your hand. Make sure you hollow your cheeks and suck but guard your teeth as much as possible. Some men enjoy a little bit of teeth, but it’s all about preference so the first time I like to think its better safe than sorry. And please, for the love of all things holy, relax! And don’t ignore the balls, massage them and they like a little tongue too.

Also, give some thought to the spit vs. swallow topic, which has already been covered so you can go back through the blog and read up on that. You don’t want to be caught in a situation with a mouth full of jizz and a dilemma as to what to do with it. That’s never fun.

Also, never feel like you’re obligated to give oral sex. It should be enjoyable, even for the person giving.




Nan Says: First, take a few deep breaths. Now that we’ve got that out of the way you need to relax. As long as you stay relaxed and don’t panic you should be fine. But there are some important things that you’ll want to try to keep in mind when giving a blow job.

If you like popsicles or suckers, you should be able to do this just fine. Guys like it when you lick from the tip to the base and back down. Some even like it when you dip your tongue into the tip of the penis and swirl it around the head. You have to keep in mind that the tip of the penis has a mega fuckton of nerve endings… so it’s very sensitive. Light nibbling is perfectly acceptable too.

To be honest, I think the thing that panics girls out the most is choking. They’re afraid of triggering their gag reflex, and that’s a very valid concern… who wants to puke in their man’s lap? But you don’t NEED to deep throat a cock on your first try. If you manage to succeed, wonderful, but don’t feel like it’s necessary. The trick to deep throating is to hollow out your cheeks and relax your throat. Only take is as much as you can and you should be good.

Ultimately, it all varies guy by guy. Big cocks, little cocks… they all like something different. Some like teeth, some do NOT. Some like when you play with their balls or when you pump the shaft with your hand. Take your queues from your man; he won’t lead you astray… especially if his dick is in your mouth.




Conclusion: Just like every man has different preferences and enjoys different things during oral sex, every woman’s style is going to be different. Go with what you know and what you can do. Don’t push yourself into doing something you don’t want, either. But when you’re ready, to go fucking town and make us proud. We give blowjobs four tits up.








Back in the game...

Okay I am embarrassed. I am 41 single mom of three. I have raised my kids on my own for 14 years. I choose to not date or have sex or even masturbate for the last 14 years. Well someone got me reading fan fiction and no look out. It stirs up alot of feelings. One kid has moved out and the other 2 in high school so i thought it was my time to start dating. I am on a website and since I haven't date since I was 17 man this all new. I am not sure if I want to date or just fuck someone to get it over with. Help having sex again after nothing in 14 years is beyond scary. He will probably touch me and I'll faint. Then in having not seen a penis in 14 years it is like being in high school all over again. God I hate my life right now. Got in advice on how I can get back in the game and what I should do first.
Do you go down on a guy you just met with no condom. I am sorry alot of questions.

Thanx for reading, do what you do best and try to answer the questions.

Thanx
Sassy


Khar Says: First of all, take a deep breath and relax. I know the idea of diving back into sex is daunting, but the mechanics of it haven’t changed so there’s no reason to be nervous.

I do suggest getting to know your own body again before doing anything with anyone else. I’m a big believer that women should be intimately acquainted with their bodies and know what makes themselves tick before they allow anyone else to find out. Basically, you should learn to love and appreciate your body before you can have someone else love and appreciate it. Buy a vibrator and use it. Explore.

When you’re comfortable enough with your sexuality alone, then go out and seek a partner. Whether to find something serious or a fling is completely a personal decision. I personally have no problem with people having flings as long as they remain safe. And, as the usual warning, I must say please be cautious meeting men online on dating websites and craigslist, ect.

Always, always, always practice safe sex! Just because a man appears healthy does not mean he’s clean! The rate of women contracting Chlamydia has increased over 40% the past few years, with over 1 million people contracting it in the year 2007 alone. That is the largest number of cases of people contracting ANY disease in one year reported to the Center for Disease control ever. It’s curable, thankfully, but it’s not something you want! And unfortunately, in a lot of cases people have no idea they even have it because they go symptomless, especially men. So always use condoms.

I also suggest condoms with oral sex. I know, people don’t like using them and I understand completely. It’s not really sexy going down on a guy with some latex strapped to it. But they make flavored condoms for a reason. You can contract many diseases from oral sex, including herpes and HIV, so the healthcare worker in me says a big ol’ “hell yes” to using a condom. But I know logically most people don’t.

Sex shouldn’t be scary, even if you’ve been out of the game for a long time. Sex should be fun and enjoyable. Don’t stress about it or feel like it’s something you HAVE to do. Explore yourself and when you’re ready, explore what’s out there. But don’t rush just for the sake of doing it.




Nan Says: Wow. 14 years of celibacy. I am admirably impressed. And honestly, there is absolutely no reason to be embarrassed. What I would suggest first is buying yourself a nice vibrator or dildo. You’re going to need to relearn your body so that you know what you like. Trust me, men LOVE when you tell them what you like.

Explore yourself. Touch your nipples, pinch and roll them between your finger and thumb, and figure out how much pressure you like to be used when playing with them. If you like being pinched hard, there’s a good chance that you’ll like them being nibbled on. If they’re big enough, you could even try licking and sucking on your nipples on your own.

Once you’ve got the best method down for your breasts, you’re gonna want to move on. Now you need to figure out what your body needs to orgasm. Some women need only penetration to orgasm. Some need clitoral stimulation and some need g-spot stimulation. Some need a combination of them. Go back and read our segment on toys and you’ll get some good pointers on how exactly to please yourself with a toy. Or you can use your fingers.

In any case, once you’re sure of that, it should be easier to figure out if you want a fuck-buddy or a serious relationship. If it’s a fuck-buddy you want, proceed with caution. I would suggest using a condom at all times until you know someone’s history. Obviously for a fuck-buddy you won’t have the whole ‘family past’ conversation, but you want to protect yourself from any kind of STDs.

And as far as giving a guy that you just met a blowjob without a condom… my mind wants to scream yes. It’s okay as long as you can’t see any open sores and nothing looks unusual… but there are so many mitigating factors that could change everything. I would say the best thing for you to do is to go with your gut.

If you want anymore detailed information that you’re scared to ask… feel free to email us personally and we’ll be happy to help privately. Good luck!




Conclusion: We truly believe that any woman must know her own body before she finds a sexual partner. You should know what you like and what you want when you go into sex, trust us, it makes it so much more enjoyable. And sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable. It’s supposed to make you feel good and de-stress you. But always proceed with caution when taking on a new partner. There is too much scary shit out there to be reckless. But you have our support and assistance if you need it.