Q&A - Week 3, Part 1

Question

What are some good positions for people who are starting to have sex for the first time?

Anon




Khar Says: I first must admit that I can't speak on what I playfully refer to as "devirginization" from experience, so Nan may be a better authority on first-time sex. Mine was overly traumatic as it was forceful rape, so my view on it personally is a bit skewed. I have, however, done some pretty extensive research on the topic, so I'll speak from that.

There are pros and cons to every position, some allowing for deeper penetration, and they each differ on who is in control. When losing your virginity it is ideal to retain some control yourself, so the woman being on top would be the best option as you'd have nearly complete control over the situation. But realistically I know first timers are often nervous and of course inexperienced and would prefer to be guided somewhat. Typically people automatically go for missionary position, but I myself suggest spooning, because the penetration isn't too deep for a first timer and you both have almost equal control in the matter.

One thing I don't suggest, however, is doggy-style. The penetration is often too deep for the first time and you really lack all control. Plus it's usually not very intimate or romantic, and I think losing your virginity should be that way. It should have meaning to it and be special, and there's only so much romanticism to a guy bending you over and taking you from behind.

Hope that helps, and I recommend not doing it until you're 100% sure you're ready. Trust me when I say your virginity isn't something you want to have wasted, as you can't get it back and you don't want to spend the rest of your life wishing it could've meant something.





Nan Says: For first-timers, there are a lot of different things you can try to make it easier and less painful for you. Because, unless you’re hymen is already torn, it’s gonna hurt when that bad boy rips. My own deflowering happened nearly 14 years ago and I can still remember that it fucking hurt.

A lot of people just assume that missionary is the best position, or they’re not experienced enough to try something different. I’m going to say that missionary is probably NOT the way you want to lose your virginity. With missionary, you’ve relinquished any kind of control you might have had and given it to the guy. And that’s not always a bad thing, but he might not know how much force or pressure to use.

My suggestion would be for a girl to be on top. You can lower yourself down onto him at your own pace and you’re completely in control. You can’t stop him from bucking his hips up, but at least you can lift yourself up if need be.

Another good position would be spooning. But, if I could go back and do it again, I’d have been on top. Hope that answers your questions, and as always, please be safe and responsible when having sex. And never forget… at ANY point you are allowed to change your mind. Don’t let someone pressure you into having sex just because you’re already naked and you said you would. If you want to stop, you should always have the right to do so. *muah*





Conclusion: First, we all have to agree that giving up your virginity willingly is a pretty big deal. You have to be ready for it, and you have to really take into consideration the fact that it’s something you can never take back. Your virginity is a lot more important than your first kiss, or your first boyfriend, even if those things are very big moments in time.

Take your time and really make sure this is what you want. And don’t let anyone pressure you into something you don’t want. But when you’re ready, give our suggestions a shot… it won’t take away the pain, but it might diminish it.









Hey there Khar and Nan

Boobies Bear

I thought I'd ask a question someone else might be a little afraid or embarrased to ask. I have no shame though.

How can a girl know if she's having (or ever had) an orgasm? Its not as obvious as a guy's orgasm, seeing as how I've never heard of a girl giving a guy and angry dragon.

Boobies Bear




Khar Says: I could sit here and spout off some medical terminology, but when it comes to orgasms I think it's better to just be straightforward. When a female orgasms, some pretty amazing things happen within the body. You'll feel a tension building within your pelvic region, for some people followed by a paralysis feeling in your muscles. The orgasm itself occurs when that tension built up from stimulation is suddenly released, which causes a series of involuntary muscle contractions in your pelvic area that can be felt in your vagina and uterus and even your rectum. It's an intense pleasure, one that can't be mistaken. You'll indeed know it, because you'll feel that pressure and then the immediate release. There's no mistaking it.

Here's an interesting tidbit for you about female orgasms... Did you know that when a woman has one, parts of her brain shut off? The parts that deal with anxiety and fear, actually any emotion in general, decreases activity significantly when a female is enduring an orgasm. The only part of the brain that increases function during a female orgasm is the cerebellum, which helps with the coordinating of movements. Scientists are, quite frankly, baffled as to why so much of the female brain reacts to an orgasm when it doesn't happen with men, but it's actual proof that a female can not enjoy sex unless she is free from anxiety... your brain will naturally shut down for you so you can. It goes to show that the mushy relaxed carefree can't think straight feeling you have immediately afterward is for a reason. The man didn't blow your mind; it was your own body intentionally shutting off parts of your brain.

One last parting tidbit - scientists aren't even sure WHY women have orgasms in the first place, they think it may just be an evolutionary fluke that just occurred (like, men having nipples). But I just have to say thank you whatever God or scientific fluke it is that gave them to us :o)





Nan Says: Part of me wants to give you the generic ‘When you have one, you’ll know’ answer, but I’m not gonna do that to you. It’s hard to explain as every orgasm is different, but remember from last week when we talked about what an orgasm is. And ultimately, an orgasm is the culmination of the built up sexual tension, the rapid heartbeat, the labored breathing… everything builds to an incredible crescendo before you find your release.

Toe curling would not be an inaccurate statement when talking about orgasms. They leave you feeling really big and really small, all at the same time. It’s bigger than words can explain. Words fail me as to properly explain them and I can’t give you medical terms… perhaps Khar can do so. I wish I could help more.





Conclusion: *low whistle* Check out the big brains on Khar! So we all learned a valuable lesson today… if a man can cause your brain to literally shut off that way, he’s a fucking keeper. And they don’t even realize that they’ve triggered your body into releasing every bit of stress and anxiety you’ve amassed over the day. Fascinating.

We fucking adore orgasms, literally. We wish we could have them repeatedly, and spontaneously, and all the fucking time. We’re gonna borrow all of your tits on this one, cause 4 just doesn’t do it fucking justice. All the titties, way up high for orgasms!!!